You can't metro to the Oscars

"The Hollywood & Highland Metro station will also be closed all day on March 7, with Red Line trains traveling through, but not stopping. Normal service will resume Monday Morning, March 8. The nearest open Metro stop in the area on Sunday will be at Hollywood and Vine, 8 blocks (0.8 mile) away. For more information on Metro route changes visit Metro.net."

It's not surprising, arriving via public transportation is pretty much the opposite of red carpet. Not to mention who could walk 8+ blocks in shoes like this?

xoxo -- coveting oscar jewelry

Screech!

I really thought this guy on my metro looked exactly like Screech from Saved by tthe Bell, until I pulled up this image:

{If for some reason you totally missed out on the '90s pop culture,

Screech is the nerd on the ladder with the Ms. Roper shirt and awesome hair.
But really, they all have awesome hair now that I see it! So fabulous.}

Then I realized the guy I saw had even bigger hair than Screech circa 1990. It was glorious. And, in my opinion, much more worthy of discussion than the current mania:

XO -- Don't even get me started on Jennifer Aniston's stupid new "bob"

Personal space

This is a concept that is pretty much non-existent on mass transit commutes. Let's face it, if you're going to have personal space issues, the metro or any other similarly crowded form of transportation can cause some discomfort. I'm prepared to deal with some personal space concessions in order to speed up my overall commute time and maybe even in the name of "reducing climate change" or whatever environmentally friendly concept you want to embrace. After 15+ years living in metropolitan areas, I'm fairly over my anxieties in this area.

What I am not over -- and will never be over -- is people who choose to take this lack of personal space aspect to an extreme. I.E.: PLEASE DO NOT GROOM YOURSELF ON THE METRO. It is astonishing to me how often I encounter someone that doesn't embrace this concept:

- Woman clipping world-record-breaking longest nails ever

- Man dry brushing dander from his head into his hand. INTO HIS HAND

- Woman with small suitcase of cosmetics carefully applying her "face"

- Man with toothpick and floss. Yes, FLOSS

- Woman replacing bandages over blistered feet

This phenomenon is beyond outrageous and it needs to STOP. So please spread the word that this behavior should be reserved for somewhere far more private than public transportation.

And for the woman's whose perfume was invading my personal space all on its own today: maybe try stopping after the initial spritz. Because my nose really does need its personal space.

XOXO -- might have to start commuting in a bubble

Time for Twitter

So my friend Andrew shared this article on FB, and I cannot resist sharing it here as well because the sample tweets and the "categories" they created cracked me up. One of my favs, " we seem to be running on apocalypse schedule again at Foggy Bottom #wmata" -- making fun of the slow/bad train timing AND incorporating Foggy Bottom, you know that makes me laugh.

I already knew I wasn't that original or alone in my hatred of the metro, but this did provide an odd sense of validation. This might even motivate me to finally understand how twitter works!

Enjoy!

#WMATA #FAIL: A guide to Metro's rough life on Twitter

Please Turn It Off

It started earlier this week on one evening commute. First, I should provide some background reference, lest you be left believing I was just crabby or particularly easily irritated this week. (I wasn't!) Generally on the metro, the conductors just announce the stations as you arrive (sometimes as you depart), and they do that very incoherently most of the time. And typically very quietly.  "Next stop, Foggy Bottom." [Side note: whenevener I hear that one I still fight the urge to snicker inexplicably in a Beavis and Butthead type way (uh.huh.huh.huh…he said bottom).] But typically it just comes across "Wahwahwahwahwaa" like the voice of Charlie Brown's teacher.  

So the fact that I could hear the conductor so clearly is what got my attention. And not just mine -- when you can suddenly hear a loud announcement, everyone's headphones (earphones?) come out for a second to see what kind of delay we're in for this time. Only there was no delay.

The conductor seemed to be attempting some type of comedy related to the slow speed we were travelling, "I think it was last week when I was on this same stretch of track travelling 15 mph" and then kind of heckling the people standing on the platforms, "customers, there is no smoking on the platform, even when outside, please extinguish your tobacco product immediately."

Nothing was per se funny, but at this last one, all I could think was what the person smoking on the platform might have been thinking:

"Right, no smoking, I got it man. What you gonna do if I don't put this out? You gonna hop off that train and make me? Like this train needs another excuse to be late. I don't think so man. You trying to embarrass me in front of the other passengers? I know none of them are looking at me, they're all just wondering why you don't just shut the heck up and move that train faster."

Which simply highlighted what a tough crowd the conductor was dealing with, so I decided maybe he was being *kind of* funny, and I noticed a few other passengers giving half smiles for the effort too.

But then, three other commutes THIS WEEK were intruded upon by these jabbermouth conductors! There is really no room for that much added commentary between stations. It would seem like the easy solution is to just ignore it, but then it will be some legit information about a fire on the tracks or something to explain while I'll be DELAYED FOR THE NEXT 40 MINUTES. And I would miss it, because I'm thinking it's just some bored conductor testing his latest stand up routine.

Which is why it's NOT funny.

XOXO - do not like the jabber